It is such delightful fun when celebrity fractivist types, like Emma Thompson, who wear their smugness on their sleeves, get the comeuppances they deserve.
Emma Thompson, the British actress featured in Sense and Sensibilities, is one of those smug and supremely annoying celebrities who believe they cannot prove their worth merely by virtue of the talent God gave them, but must, instead, gild the lily by using their star power to call attention to this or that politically correct cause. It has the side benefit of attracting attention to themselves, of course, which is a powerful incentive to engage in such non-paying theatrics. There are potential downsides, though, as Thompson learned earlier this week when she and some fractivist friends had to contend with an angry farmer who turned his manure spreader in their direction as they illegally conducted a protest stunt in his fields. It was a beautiful thing.
Thompson is an insufferable example of the celebrity fractivist but, then again, it’s hard to find one who isn’t insufferable, isn’t it? She and her sister decided to conduct an anti-fracking “bake-off” on Lancashire, England farmland leased to Cuadrilla, a UK gas exploration company. The farmland has been the site of previous unauthorized fractivist protests and a court injunction is now in place to prevent such trespassing.
Emma Thompson and her sister decided that was the perfect place to pull off their little stunt as it would provide an opportunity to defy the law and demonstrate just how far they were above it in their self-righteousness. They climbed over the gate to the farmland with cameras clicking and rolling, to erect a tent, conduct a bake-off and attract a crowd of empathetic media types who would faithfully record their civil disobedience, report it as something akin to heroism and perpetuate the myth of public opposition and social justice served.
It didn’t go so well, though.
When the naturally annoyed farmer saw the star of Sense and Sensibility had neither, he used the best tool at his disposal; the farm liquid manure spreader:
Sadly, the Daily Mail reports Emma Thompson herself wasn’t slimed with the manure slurry (too bad) but there was, obviously, a very smelly damper put on the whole event. The alert farmers among our readers will also recognize this was no ordinary manure spreader; it was a liquid manure spreader, which means it’s used to spread manure that’s been stored in a slurry tank or pond and cured a bit, if you know what I mean. The spreader is a Major LGP 2400 model manufactured by the Major Equipment Intl Ltd, which holds up to 2,400 gallons of liquified bovine excrement.
Our farm hero neatly whipped his LGP 2400 around the assembled fractivist celebrities several times, spraying the smelly stuff everywhere to the horror of the self-righteous, above-the-law celebrities and their sycophants, delivering just the right measure of poetic justice. This is precisely the kind of justice needed on this side of the big pond from time to time. Faced with serial attention seekers locking themselves to your gates? Well, get your farmer landowner to back up his manure spreader to the scene and let it rip. Is some granny protestor trespassing on your fields or inviting groups of Manhattanites to tours of your property? Get an LGP 2400 slurry tanker or something similar of your own, put the John Deere in high gear and buzz ’em.
Imagine the howling. Imagine the fun!